Failed Pictures #1

As the snail tinkerer of the house, I use AI to create pictures for this blog, unless I have an actual picture. So, naturally, some come out…wrong. I only have a few so far, since the ones from a long time ago get deleted. But I will make posts like this regularly!

These first are from the Thanksgiving post, where AI didn’t seem to understand that roast turkeys don’t have faces. I only got the result I wanted when I included “realistically drawn.”

Me holding a wrench came out…wrong sometimes, as snails don’t have hands.

Why am I crying? Or is there just slime…on…my…eye? You know what, I don’t want to know.
This is actually really cute, if it wasn’t for the hand…

Note: From that same post about the vacation was an illustration of the moment Isabella got 2 shark teeth, which went wrong in every way. First, I asked for shark teeth in a gift box, which always came out as “Entire shark jaw models in a gift box.” Then I asked for a shark holding a gift box. You know from the caption of that image that each one came out wearing a Santa hat, but one even had a tag on the present labeling it to be from “Shary’s!” Which I can only assume meant something like “From Shark”(or “Sharky”). Unfortunately, the picture was deleted.

An illustration of the horse that was getting fussy because he was hungry came out, again, with hands one time, probably because I said he was “holding” a knife and fork.

In the Nature Center post, there was an illustration of the frogs eating. First, I decided they should be sitting and looking at a covered dinner tray, as if anticipating their dinner. 3 of the 4 results had them inside the tray, as if they were the dinner! And the 4th one gave me these scary things, whatever they are…

From the same post, it apparently forgot how to draw a hand petting a gecko…

And, lastly, Surge escaping a prison was once turned into this…I have no idea why he has a little paperclip doll thing!

Describing the Bird Count, I wanted a checklist of songbirds. This resulted in several field guides, one of which was even labeled, in perfect lettering, “FIELD GUIDE.” But one was labeled both “SONGBIRID” and “SOING BIIRD.” Another said, “CONMOM DIAMERS,” whatever that meant. (Probably “Common names” or “Common species,” but it ended up sounding like “Common denominators,” which has nothing to do with birds). It also said, “SICOTERIBERICIAR—” which was obviously some pseudo-scientific name. So, obviously, AI is bad at writing.

Guess What…(Nature Center #2)

So, you know how I said on Wednesday that I’d hoped Isabella wouldn’t leave again anytime soon? Well, she did. Yesterday she went somewhere and didn’t come back for hours! Smoky pulled out her drone camera to watch Isabella. She went to the nature center to take care of the animals. She changed everybody’s water bowls, then she turned all the reptiles’ and amphibians’ substrates. She fed these frogs, Marble and Chalk (Chalk was more enthusiastic about getting food) and Wart, a toad, who wouldn’t eat his third cricket.

And yet the humans never let me eat bugs…

Then she fed this salamander named Spot, and he even let her pet him! Then she also got to pet this lizard that couldn’t make up her mind whether she was a leopard or a gecko. Her name was Leona, and she actually closed her eyes when Isabella pet her head!

She wasn’t even getting ear rubs!

There was also a crested gecko named Surge, who had dropped his tail at one point before he’d arrived at the nature center, which was just unnatural. He was apparently an escape artist–Wentworth the snail all over again!

Geckoudini the Great!

There was a tarantula named Ember who liked to chase the wooden spoon used to turn her substrate. Then they got the opossum, Lily, to go into a pet carrier, and Isabella cleaned out her habitat. Then, finally, nobody else needed taking care of. I just hope she never goes back–I hate the smell of…well, any smell that means Isabella was taking care of an animal that is not me!

Horse Riding #9

So today, Isabella left again. According to Smoky’s drone camera, she went back to the horse stables! She watched as the teacher bandaged the leg of a brown horse named Chili (or Chilly, or Chile), who had a cut on his knee. Seriously? I’m the one who gets my legs hurt all the time!

Then she brushed and tacked up Misty and rode her around the arena. When she was done with that, she went to talk to a black horse that was putting up a fuss because he wanted food.

Again, so undignified! Just tug on the humans’ clothes until they notice you! Then she finally came home. Finally. I just hope she doesn’t go anywhere else soon…

Happy Thanksgiving!

First of all, I know it’s a little late, but better late than never! So, a while back, Mom and Isabella started cooking a bunch of yummy stuff. Then, a couple days later, Nana and Papa showed up, as well as a couple other humans who I’d met as a puppy before the pandemic happened. They all ate the food that Mom and Isabella had made, then they played games, then everybody went home. I’m just glad I got to eat some turkey, which, unlike chicken, I’m not “allergic to.”

Things I Did When the Humans Were on Vacation

  1. I tinkered with the plumbing at the hotel they stayed at the first night. This somehow had the effect of making the toilet grumble when the fan turned on. Still don’t know how that happened!

2. When Isabella’s monitor on the plane broke, I fixed it, and even added a “Please Wait” message.

3. I tried to help fix the Ratatouille ride when someone dropped their 3D glasses.

4. I told all the baby snails in EPCOT that Isabella was coming, and sure enough, she got some snail love.

5. There was more snail love the next day, when I showed up at the pool in a disguise. Isabella picked me up and pet my shell, then set me down.

6. I tried to help when the Halloween events in Disney got rained out. This did not work.

7. I tried to make it so Isabella could catch the Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast shows at Hollywood Studios. This also didn’t work, but Fantasmic! went well.

8. I told all of the animals on the Animal Kingdom safari to pose for Isabella. They did.

9. I told the animals at Discovery Cove that Isabella was coming. Two sharks even left their loose teeth on a ledge for her!

Don’t know why the image creator felt the need to make a “Santa Jaws.”

10. I did the same for the animals at SeaWorld, which is a very high-quality, conservation-focused place now. The dolphin show went great! At the feeding experiences, rays were nuzzling her hand with their noses! Also, there were a bunch of seals and sea lions that were super excited to meet her! The seal was bouncing up and down, there was a sea lion imitating a dolphin, and there was a sea lion that was giving her puppy-dog eyes! Has she been talking to Raini?

11. I made sure they got home safely.

Happy Halloween!

First off, I was going to make a joke about Howl-O-Ween, but if you’ve read a lot about dogs, which you probably have if you’re here, then you’ve heard that already. Anyway, on October 31st, I could tell the humans were waiting for something. Sure enough, Nana and Papa came over, they talked and played games, et cetera. Then, suddenly I heard sirens. Being a dog, I howled at them. Everyone got dressed in fancy outfits, which Smoky said were based on a ride called The Haunted Mansion, then covered said outfits with winter coats. Why don’t humans just grow fur? Mom, Dad, and Isabella put me in my crate and went walking. Nana and Papa answered the door whenever it rang, which seemed to be happening a lot that night. The people would show up, Nana and Papa would give them candy, and they’d leave. Then my humans came back with candy of their own. This went on for a while, then the people stopped coming, Nana and Papa left, and it returned to normal. But I still wonder what that was about!

This was a photo fail that was too funny not to share! The prompt was, “Black snail and German shepherd yelling, ‘BOO!'” As you can see, nobody’s yelling anything, Smoky’s the wrong color, and there’s some bizarre stuffed animal on her shell! Computers are funny!

Everything Big That’s Happened Recently

Several horse-riding classes. Isabella now rides a pony named Misty. Misty Mischief, I call her.

The AI cartoon-ified version of her.

Misty’s also known as the Squeaky Pony by stable workers, as she makes the strangest noises when she tacks up, the Queen of Jumping by Smoky, who found out that she’s a showjumper, and Sweet Little Misty by Isabella. Seriously? Anyway, she’s nice to Isabella. She also likes her massages.

She’s supposed to be in a massage chair. Best of a bad bunch.

Isabella even rode bareback on her a couple times, which is easier than it sounds. There was another pony who looked like her, named Archie. Mom took a selfie with him, and he actually smiled!

Also, Isabella went to a nature center to take care of the animals. There was a salamander named Spot, and a garter snake named Sandalfoot.

He actually looked at Isabella like that! That’s my thing!

Then, later, they went back there for a Halloween party, and Sandalfoot was out again! He let Isabella pet him, and he seemed to enjoy it. I just hope they don’t go back there again! Then it was Halloween, which I will make a different post about. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed playing catchup. See you around!

Note from Smoky about tags: This post will be tagged as a Horse-Riding post and a Nature Center post, because it sort of fits into both categories.

The Humans Are Back!!!

So, a while back, Nana came over to stay. I was happy to see her, but then Mom and Isabella started to remind her how to feed Smoky and the fish, feed me, and other things she’d need to do around the house. The only other time they’d done that was when they left for a while, then came back! No, they can’t leave! But one evening, they leave and don’t come back. According to Smoky’s Snail Cam, they are in a hotel next to an airport. The next day, Smoky reports them getting onto a plane and flying to somewhere named Florida. They spend a couple days there, and Smoky even teleports to join them a couple times. Meanwhile, I enjoyed being pampered by Nana. However, a few days ago, Smoky reported that they were on a plane again. They came back, and I was so happy! But today, Nana went home. So, no more pampering. But at least I don’t have to worry that the humans are bringing back another dog anymore! Or that fish that seemed to like Isabella, or that affectionate goat, or, worse, those baby snails! I don’t need another Smoky around!

Horse Riding #6

Last week, Isabella didn’t go horse riding. I thought she had quit, which meant more time for me! But Smoky said something about it being too hot for the horses. I just know it was too hot for me! Then, this week, Isabella left again. We watched through Smoky’s drone camera. She went to the horse stables again! She met with several horses in the pasture. Then she mounted Vlad, the horse she rides now. They rode around the indoor arena. Then Isabella took Vlad back to his stall, untacked him, and gave him a brushing. She even has her own set of brushes just for the horses! Now, shepherds only need 1 comb or brush. Vlad also was tearing at a bale of hay and eating it. How can he eat that stuff? Why not salmon or asparagus? That’s what I’d prefer. Anyway, then Isabella left. but not before she said hi to Bob the goat and his 2 little sisters! Now she’s finally home. And I don’t have to be jealous of the horses for another week.